I was on an eight day cruise over the New Year’s holiday that included three days at Walt Disney World. During this trip I only packed thongs and a couple of traditional swim briefs. Subconsciously, this has been years in the making and perhaps even a midlife crisis. I have worn thongs as underwear since I began living on my own after college. It has always been something my immediate family knew about. In fact, while living with my girlfriend, now my wife of 20 years, her mother would do our laundry and neatly fold my thongs along with my wife’s.
It was not until a few years ago that I found the nerve to wear a thong on a beach. That happened during a trip to Hawaii with my wife. It was liberating, yet I was still unsure whether it was something I should be doing. Call it years of indoctrination by social norms and worrying far too much about what strangers might think.
A few years later, we returned to Hawaii, this time as a family with our two daughters. While getting ready for a beach day, my wife asked, “Why aren’t you wearing your thong?” I gave some excuse about our daughters and whether it was appropriate. She immediately shut that down. She told me they did not care, that I looked great in it, and that I should just wear it. I did, and that moment became a turning point. From then on, thongs were no longer something I felt I had to justify. They became my swimwear of choice.
That does not mean I wear one everywhere. I am still realistic about certain settings like the local community pool. But given the chance at a beach, resort, hotel, cruise ship, or lake, thongs are my go to swimwear. They make me feel confident, comfortable, and unapologetically myself.
This past holiday we traveled with extended family, including my two teenage nephews. We visited Typhoon Lagoon, where I relaxed and sunbathed in a thong but put on something more conservative for the slides. Once aboard the ship, however, it was thongs and only thongs. On deck, on the beach, in the spa, everywhere. While some people may have silently judged, the overwhelming response was positive. I received compliment after compliment. Many women approached me, and after a few minutes of casual conversation, they wanted to know more about my choice of swimwear. They told me how great it looked, how much confidence it showed, and how they wished their husbands would wear one. I even brought a few extras to act as a low key ambassador, inspired by @Christian Ocean’s videos, and while only two people took the plunge, the conversations alone were worth it.
We also spent time at CocoCay, specifically the adult hideaway. This area features a massive heated pool with a swim up bar, and the vibe there was pure freedom. To say I was popular would be an understatement. Once the drinks started flowing, couples regularly approached my wife and me to compliment our swimwear and our confidence. Some may have been pineapple people, which we are not, but the attention still felt flattering and fun. More than anything, it felt validating. Whether it was the setting, the confidence we carried, or simply a genuine lack of concern for outside opinions, the energy was contagious.
What I ultimately learned, and what my wife so perfectly summed up, is that nobody truly cares what you wear. The fear is almost entirely in our own heads. People are far too busy worrying about themselves. When you show up confident and comfortable in your own skin, most people respond positively, and those who do not simply do not matter. If you spend your life trying to please everyone else, you will never fully please yourself. Confidence breeds confidence. Happiness attracts happiness.
What really surprised me was how many people seemed envious. I would estimate that well over half of the people at that pool wanted the same freedom but were holding themselves back. They wanted to feel bold, relaxed, and playful, but were stuck behind invisible rules they never actually agreed to. That realization hit me hard. Life is far too short to let fear dictate what you wear or how you enjoy yourself.
I was blown away by the positivity I experienced on this cruise, and I cannot help but think about how much time I wasted doubting myself over something so simple. I only wish I had gotten out of my own way sooner and embraced this years ago.
To this entire community, thank you for the encouragement and the shared confidence. And to anyone who is just starting to consider this journey, or standing on the edge wondering if they should take the leap, do it. Wear the thong. Own it. Encourage others. You might be surprised how many people are waiting for someone like you to show them that it is okay to live a little louder, freer, and happier.
