If I knew in advance, I would go somewhere else because other parents are unpredictable and I just don’t feel like dealing with it. Plus, “hundreds” of kids and parents sounds like it might be just too much anyway.
If I was already there and they set up near me, I would do nothing. This happened to me this summer with a kids’ surf school. I was already there when 30-40 kids set up right in front of me, between me and the ocean. When I went to a swim next to where they were surfing, exactly nothing happened.
A similar thing happened again at the end of the summer when a group of 7-8 moms, all in their early 40s, arrived with 10-12 kids aged about 8-12. I was right next to the lifeguard’s chair and they set up maybe 10 feet away from me. I have to admit, I was a bit worried that one of them would go off on me but again, nothing. I figured I’d get some reaction when I walked to and from the ocean since I had to walk directly in front of them, but not a peep from the moms or their kids.
That all being said, the Boston area is rightly well known for being quite tolerant. Your mileage may vary at beaches in other parts of the country.
If I had a group of children from a day camp at up next to me I would move. Not because of wearing a thong, rather because I don’t want to deal with the noise and everything else that goes along with a large group of children. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to be at the beach. I’ll just be down the shore from the group. This has happened more than a few times. A school bus filled with children I was unloading when I arrived. I took a look at the number of children and decided to be at the other end of the beach, no big deal.
I have many times had mothers with their children set up next to me. It has never been a problem. Several of the mothers have started up conversations with me. For those of who have a problem with a man wearing a thong they usually find somewhere else to set up. I’ve gone up to rescue floats and rafts that children have lost track of and brought them back to the child. I’ve pulled a few kids out of the deep water while mom was standing on shore. I’ve retrieved beach umbrellas as brought them back to the family. All this wearing a thong. I believe being friendly, helpful and kind goes a long way to ease people’s concerns about a man wearing a thong.
Something like that incidentally happened to me this summer. Wearing a thong on a public beach I’ve been to many times, I set up a short ways from the parking lot, to a less busy area. About an hour after I set up, a group of maybe 50 amish or mennonites of all ages set up about 50 feet behind me. I kept to myself, they kept to themselves (aside from a few glaces that I’d expect from anyone). It was a great day at the beach.
When I started to thong, some 20+ years ago and engaging in conversations with then friends, some who would become Karens, they hardly ever gave an explanation to their objections. Women were more dismissive than men. Dudes were like, “seriously?! Wow! …but, …whatever.” Some women were like, “seriously?! Rock on!” But there were others who just said, “ew, gross!” and, “those things don’t look good on anybody!” And, “that’s just wrong”.
But, the undertone was almost always that the wearer, male or female, sought out the attention and are hypersexual; predators seeking victims to expose themselves on. Fearing trauma of a buttocks or male bulge, these Karens objected at a personal level but projected their rejection on their kids, arguing that, “if THAT is what you want to do it, fine, but not around my kids!” (We know kids couldn’t care less).
It has been my personal experience with these Karens that generally speaking they suffer from exposure to sexual ideas, images, situations, and even sex itself and prefer not to have to think, talk, or be exposed to it. Although thongs can be hyper sexualized garments the people who wear them wear them for a number of reasons, many not sexual in nature. But you can’t convince them otherwise.
The issue with kids is never about the kids but their parents, usually moms, projecting their insecurities on others.
That’s an excellent point and an issue that really bothers me. I think the causes are the inherent prudishness of American culture inherited from the Puritans and our fetishizing an overprotecting of children. I have heard that the most sexually well adjusted children in the world are in Sweden where they are exposed to fully nude adults with no problems or issues. I also think part of the problem with men wearing thongs is patriarchy. In our macho culture women are supposed to be sex objects while men are the clothed observers. When a man wears a sexy swimsuit or thong he is doing something usually associated with women. I think there is probably some homophobia there too. I think we need a nationwide movement like “Go Topless” or “Free the Nipple” to promote the acceptance of thongs for both men and women wherever swimsuits are accepted.
This site https://notopsnation.shop/ She’s also on the socials but pushing for a topless beach in the Florida Gulf Coast. I’m all for it, I think if you saw more women topless, you’d see more thongs on everyone because we know we’re at the beach to feel good and look good.
What if the object of my appreciation thinks I am objectifying when I’m actually admiring? Can I just tell them I’m appreciating? This could be like Schridinger’s cat. Is it appreciation or objectification? One can’t tell until the action is measured. What if I’m objectifying in my mind but the person says thank you? Should I correct them and admit my sin? How can one convince the entity in question I truly am admiring if they feel objectified? Is there some form or type of way to measure? Maybe a change in blood flow to my privates? But the response may be the same whether admiring or objectifying. This is so confusing.
All the person ‘on show’ knows (if anything) is that they are being looked at. They have no way of knowing if it appriciation, objectation or disapproval/revulsion. Provided that no inappropriate action is then taken it does not really matter, and they have no control over it anyway.
This is getting away from my original question, as I do not thing children react in any of these ways due to the type of swimwear being worn.
I’ll be honest, I stay in shape and don’t mind being objectified. If me wearing a thong brings enjoyment or pleasure to someone else, great. I feel like we only get one shot at life. We might as well enjoy it.
How children react has little to no impact on how their parents and other adults perceive a person wearing a thong, which is typically the source of contention. When a body is objectified, people view thong swimwear as sexually provocative or, especially when a man wears a thong, predatory, which crosses the boundary of what they believe is appropriate around children.
Exactly why I think it’s important to distinguish between appreciation and objectification. Do people here remember that cat-calling, harassment, and downright slut-shaming of women who wore thongs in the 80s and early 90s? I certainly do. That’s what objectification looks like; it’s ugly. You don’t do that to people you appreciate.
Objectification of men wearing thongs turns wearers into “gays”, “pedos”, “predators” and it’s not something to aspire to.
I understand why the discussion of of children present is valid. By nature, parents are protective of children. The predators of children are disgusting people who commit acts of pedophilia. Pedophilia is the dark side of broken sexuality.
When males wear thongs, people or parents may assume the worst of the individual’s sexuality probably stemming from their own experience. id assume people that openly ridicule, probably carry skeletons and feel self validated by way of virtue signaling.
I don’t buy the idea of conservative vs liberal values.
I believe in order to wear thongs openly and freely, one must remove sexuality from the act by way of behaving appropriately.
Children don’t care, it’s the parents. But don’t give parents any additional fuel to judge either. Enjoy your thongs and be stoic regardless of potential negativity.
It’s very rare people will confront anyway. If they observe you behaving, they may change their own minds.
I tried to distinguish between objectification and appreciation.
You don’t harass people you appreciate.
You are more like to harass someone you dehumanize by objectifying them. And yes, objectifying someone dehumanizes them because it is literally treating them as an object, not as a person.
Indeed, there is no issue with children. The issue are the parents. They have there weird thoughts and assumptions. And they, sometimes, transfer them to their children. With sometimes some irritation.
Offcorse your thong is noticed by children and they may give a comment. But than just go on with their play.
Once in Spain a whole, large, class of teenagers (about 14 years) came to the fairly small beach where I was laying in my thong. They just noticed me an started to do their thing (exercises etc) just around me. The teacher did not make an issue, so there was no issue. Perfect.
I struggle to see a meaningful difference between appreciation and objectification. To me it’s sounds like calling it appreciation is just trying to justify objectification. Can you elaborate.
There’s plenty of literature on the subject that tries to identify where appreciation ends and objectification begins. I’m too lazy to summarize it here but a Google search will yield dozens of hits; there’s nothing stopping you if you’re actually interested.
Objectification does not require sexual attraction, and people who find revealing swimwear sexually attractive are not necessarily objectifying the wearer.
No one has ever suggested to me that they have a moral objection to my swimwear. Instead, they reduced me to a sexual object and deemed that object inappropriate for a public setting, especially around children. They certainly did not find me attractive or think I was there for them to look at and enjoy, but they still objectified me by viewing me primarily in sexual terms.
Noticing what other people are wearing and being attracted to them is not objectification. Sexual attraction becomes objectification when you reduce the person to their body and think of them primarily as a sexual object. For example, simply noticing someone can become objectifying when you think of the wearer’s body primarily as something for your enjoyment, rather than as part of a person you find attractive.
When you see someone wearing a thong, do you find yourself thinking about them primarily as a body or sexual object, or are you still treating them as a whole person?