Can someone explain why the presence of children is such a big issue. When wearing a thong no genitalia is showing. Anyway either the kids are so young they have no sexual thoughts anyway and it is just the parents trying to sexualise the situation. If the kids are older then they know men and women are different and it is good for them to see people come in all shapes and sizes and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
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For most parents its not a big deal. The issue is, for the few that don’t like thongs period, they are gonna use the guise of protecting their children to make a scene and try to paint you as the bad guy.
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We have a society that maximizes use of body images and sexuality for marketing and at the same time engages in body shaming when doing something natural like being naked at a beach.
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In the USA there is a long history of body shaming, the use of religion to justifying “unacceptable behavior “ and the politics of fear. Somewhere in the 1990’s there was a shift to include men being more covered and a narrative of men showing skin as being inappropriate or worse perverted, Without any evidence. Suddenly wearing short shorts, a Speedo brief and god forbid a thong became justification for shame and fear. The common excuse was for the protection of children as a way to protect their own discomfort or unease. Over heard preachers preach on the “sin” of showing too much skin. I’ve seen articles published on how no one wants to see men because it is digesting. I’ve been approached by young women and told I made them “loose there lunch” when they saw me swimming off shore from them. Somehow wearing less than board shorts became a national disgrace.
After years of thong wearing on beaches and at pools across the nation the only people that have ever expressed concern were parent that were not even wearing swimwear at the beach of pool (with the exception of the one group of young women watching me swim). I’ve had mothers with young children defend my swimwear choices. I’ve had family set up next to me knowing very well I was wearing a thong.
Look at who is complaining. See what they are wearing and how they act. While most people will not care or even approve of a man I wearing a bikini or thong, there is alway a few that feel them must express their opinion because the only opinion that is right is their own.
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Some people hide behind children while trying to impose their modesty standards on the rest of the world, but just as many seem to genuinely believe that thong wearers pose a danger to children.
Many parents worry about stranger danger, even though their children are far more likely to be abused by someone they know. A person (especially a man) wearing a thong can seem threatening to someone irrationally fearful of strangers.
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Out here on the west coast it’s a non issue. In fact, it’s been reported by many that they (we) purposely seek a spot away from others only to have others, including families with small children, come and camp near us. In fact, the couple of times when someone that “looks” and/or is behaving “odd” individuals go about their business since said “odd” person is basically keeping to themselves and accosting no one.
While minimal styles might be commonplace at some beaches in the greater LA area, thong swimwear is forbidden at LA city pools, and I think you’ll find attitudes toward revealing styles differ as you travel through Northern California, Oregon, and Washington.
City of Los Angeles Pool Rules:
Proper Swim Attire is as Follows:
- Males must wear swim trunks with a liner AND a drawstring, board shorts are acceptable.
- Females must wear a bathing suit, may be a one-piece or two-piece.
Inappropriate swim attire is as follows:
- No cut-offs, bike shorts, basketball shorts, or street shorts.
- No white t-shirts or white rash guards or shirts of any kind.
- Swimsuit must cover the buttocks, no thongs.
- No bodysuits or leotards.
Largely depends where you are at. I’ve worn very small thongs (think Joe Snyder Bulge and Skinzwear M55) on every beach I’ve been on from Cape Cod to Ft. Lauderdale up and down the east coast for 10 years and not once had a problem. Even conservative areas like Hilton Head and Mt. Pleasant outside Charleston. Respect people’s space and they will most likely do the same. If they don’t, be polite and tell them that you hope they enjoy their day on the beach.
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Rules are one thing, enforcement is another. Day and time is another. At my local pool, there is this very fit Asian life guard that gets his laps in before his shift. His Speedo is VERY cheeky. Very. Yet everyday he comes in, gets his laps done, finishes, goes and changes into his uniform. Several of the women lifeguards and a few of the patrons are very bootylicious, and suits tend to ride, yet they walk to and from with very little regard to exposure. How cheeky can these suits get before they trigger a Karen to complain? It is yet to be determined. In another community I am sure it’s already been settled.
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I think we can all agree that local norms vary and that personal courtesy goes a long way, but that speaks more to navigating people’s reactions than explaining why the presence of children triggers those reactions in the first place.
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Your examples actually highlight two issues:
- Conventionally attractive, fit people often get a pass (the halo effect) whereas other body types don’t.
- When we evaluate people, especially women, in minimal swimwear by how “bootylicious” they look, it shows that people are still viewing those swimsuits through a sexual lens, which might be the exact source of discomfort for parents who bring their kids to public spaces.
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Exactly. There are two effects going on here: body shaming (for the people who aren’t the most attractive) and objectification (mainly of women). Ordinary men wearing thongs is a way of pushing back against both of these things.
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Is it objectification when the wearer knows it will draw attention to their sexuality. It would be a blatant lie if i said my wearing a thong does not draw attention, i just want it to be positive attention.
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There is a world of difference between objectification and appreciation. Objectification reduces you to a commodity that exists solely for someone else’s pleasure. Appreciation is enjoyment of someone’s beauty or other traits while respecting them as an autonomous person.
Do you really want to be objectified? I bet not.
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The average man or woman have not evolved beyond the primal instinct to view a semi clad individual beyond the context of sexuality. This alarms the more conservative members of our communities who project their own biases, stereotypes, fears, ambivalence about their own sexuality or frustration being unable to express themselves more openly and assign a negative motive for anyone opting to wear something less modest.
Then there are the “whatever” members of the community who just don’t care one way or the other.
The connoisseurs, the patrons, the minority, that evaluate the the individual on a whole set of values: esthetics, progressiveness, avant-guard, post-modern ideas of beauty and body; those who celebrate the pursuit of self expression, fulfillment, and meaning. They accept that the practitioners are themselves on a spectrum on the motives for choosing their swim/sun attire that can reach at one end of the scale as a kink and sexualized garment and the desire to exhibit themselves, to the other end of people simply wanting to commune with their environment in the most natural way possible (sans any hint of sexuality). All of us somewhere on that continuum. Being admired, or even objectified, is secondary to allowing us to quietly enjoy our swim, or our book, and give us the benefit of the doubt that our intention is not to offend—unless our behavior says otherwise.
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An interesting set of relies.
When one sees at a member of whatever sex or sexes one is attracted to, one can not but help thinking (even subconciously) they are unattractive, attractive or somewhere between; provided one is not dead below the waist. This happens no matter how much skin they are showing. Maybe if a group is passing in front of you, your attention is drawn to the least clothed; but I suspect it is the most attractive. To this extent we are all objectifying others as they are us. Our views on how attactive someone is can then change if we get to know them, which is the de-objectifying process.
Do children do this? I would think not pre-puberty. After that then thier reactions are just the same as adults. But a teenage boy is not suddenly going to assult an attactive women on a busy beach just because she a wearing a g-string, even less likely a teenage girl will assult an attactive man just because he a wearing minimal swimwear.
Thus I fail to see why the presence of children should make any difference on what one wears. From a very early age children see that men and women have physial differences.
A completely different topic would be about children wearing minimal swimwear, as we do not want them to be objectified.
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People choose their attire for a variety of reasons, and I agree that behavior matters. But individual intent doesn’t answer the question of why some people regard thong swimwear as inappropriate around children.
How we think society should work and how society actually works are not the same. The reality is that many people view thong swimwear as inappropriate in the presence of children, and protecting children is frequently invoked as the moral basis for that standard.
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When I first started to wear a thong to the beach I stayed away from crowds, especially children. I felt uncomfortable (at first) being around children. How would they react? How would the parents react?
I walk the beach a lot and after awhile never got negative comments, though I always got looks. A family once setup next to me. When I walked by I said “Good Morning” and one of the boys said “Hi.” When I got back from my walk, the boy switched out of his board shorts for jammers. Mom was wearing a thong. I realized that kids don’t care. Wear your thong.
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I agree that we shouldn’t let fear of how others might react determine our behavior, but I’m still curious about the original question.
Are there people who believe it’s inappropriate to wear thong swimwear around children? If so, why do you suppose they think it’s inappropriate?
To frame it another way: would you wear a thong to the beach if you knew a summer camp was going to be spending the day there and a hundred parents and young children would be present? If not, why?
I guess I’m an anomaly with this issue because I sunbathe regardless if my own children are with me or not. My daughter is a teenager, my son is at the tale end of elementary school. Ive sunbathed at beaches and perhaps it disarms people to see a father enjoying the beach with his children. We do beach activities together also so yeah maybe it shocks people at first but they get over it or keep to themselves… it’s not my issue…as far as other kids go, I keep to myself, I don’t really like other kids. Ive noticed other sunbathers with children set up near me but I think kids notice other kids and sunbathers notice other sunbathers.
I wouldn’t set up near a summer camp… that sounds like chaotic energy… if they set up near me, I wouldn’t relocate but I’d make it aware that I wear revealing attire so their decision to set up near me is on them…
But I’ve never came across a situation where there’s an abundance of children around.
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