Any tips on thonging in front of the family for the first time. I’m in good shape in my early 20s and once I moved out from my parents house I started wearing thongs as underwear. I’m trying to get more comfortable wearing thongs to swim in, lately I’ve been wearing a bikini at my condos pool, which is terrifying. I’d prefer a thong in my community pool but as of right now I’m not sure if they’re allowed for men. I’m going on vacation to Hawaii with my girlfriend, who already knows and likes to wear them too, my parents and siblings in a couple months and I’d be happy wearing a speedo but I’d much rather wear a thong or g-string. Any tips on bringing it up or breaking the ice without feeling ashamed? My sister wears smaller swimsuits so it’s not unheard of in the family but I don’t want them to think I’m weird for wanting to be myself. It’s a big jump for them to see me in board shorts one year to a thong the next.
I’m not a psychologist, but figuring out why shame enters the equation is a good place to start. You’ve got some time to wrap your head around this, but coming from a place of shame instead of low-key confidence probably won’t work well. Can you maybe try going to a beach with some friends to break the ice?
Yeah good point, I should see if someone other than my girlfriend is open to it. I definitely need to get more reps in to build confidence. Ive had a bad experience at slide rock Az where it was my first time wearing a cheeky swim brief and some teenage girls were shouting “Nice speedo” and laughing while taking pictures from across the canyon which was a total mood killer. On the other hand, I’ve gone to a clothing optional beach in a thong once before with my girlfriend and given the context it was no problem but a family trip is a whole different ball game.
Have you considered just telling your family before going?
Literally the only laughs (2-3 times in 4-5 years) I have gotten are from pairs of teenage girls. Here’s my question for you: Do you actually care what teenage girls think of you? Knowing that they genuinely have the least valuable opinion on the face of the earth, are you going to let them shake you?
Here’s what I did one time when I had presence of mind: I gave them a sweeping bow and they immediately shut up, it stopped them cold. They folded in the face of confidence and humor.
Wearing a thong around family can be a tricky thing. It will depend on what are the family values, traditions and expectations. How open is your family to people expressing themselves in different ways? I would always suggest a conversation about swimwear styles and opinions before jumping in the deep end with your thong on display. I know given my family I would never wear a thong around anyone other than my sister (who also wears thong swimwear). The rest of the family has major problems with men wearing anything smaller than board shorts. They was very vocal about it. On the other, hand my sister and I went to Fantasy Fest in Key West together. She has seen me wearing a thong and is ok with it.
I suggest, if your family is open to the idea, telling them why you enjoy wearing smaller swimwear. Include freedom, confidence, comfort and that your girlfriend likes it (if she does) and you want to please her as much as please yourself. Leave shame where it belongs - in the closet.
At the beach be confident and happy. Know that teen girls hold no power over you. Nor does anyone else that makes disparaging comments. It’s about their insecurities not yours.
Lastly, I wish you all the best on this journey and hope your family is supportive of your decisions.
Yeah, just asking them outright is the most likely scenario but I can’t just text in the group chat “hey guys I’m thinking of wearing a thong on vacation” lol. Gotta make sure I bring it up naturally
Totally agree @RapidBlue, and I think it’s awesome you get to do that with your sister. Sorry your family isn’t as open to it. I think that’s a great place to start as you said. I’ll probably start there and see what happens. Worst case scenario I can do a trial run another time with my sister who is pretty open minded and non judgmental. She’s in Florida so I might have to visit her and go to one of the more accepting beaches
Swimwear trends have always changed. It wasn’t that long ago that men weren’t even expected to go shirtless at the beach, and swimsuits were heavy, long, and impractical. Then in the '70s and early '80s, briefs, Speedos, and even thongs were much more common in some places. By the '90s and 2000s, the pendulum swung toward oversized board shorts. Fashion changes, there’s nothing inherently “normal” or “abnormal” about one style over another.
I think we’re finally getting back to the idea that people should wear what they’re comfortable in instead of what everyone else expects. If a thong is what feels best to you, that’s a perfectly valid choice. For a lot of guys, they actually provide better support, less bunching, and less chafing than loose board shorts.
One thing I’ve learned is that you’ll probably regret not wearing something you wanted to wear more than you’ll regret giving it a try. I know I do. I spent years worrying about what other people would think and didn’t start wearing thongs publicly until my 40s. Looking back, I wish I’d had the confidence to do it in my 20s.
I’ve also worn thongs on family vacations, including around my family (wife and teenage daughters all join me), my in-laws (who are in their late 70s), my sister-in-law’s family, and my teenage nephews. I built it up in my head far more than anyone else did. In reality, nobody made a big deal out of it. They know me as the same fun-loving guy I’ve always been, and that’s what mattered, not the cut of my swimsuit.
In my experience, most people are far less focused on you than you imagine. The biggest difference is how you carry yourself. If you wear it because you’re comfortable and confident, people tend to take their cue from you. If you look like you’re expecting judgment, that anxiety is what stands out not the swimsuit.
Since this is your family’s first time seeing you in one, I wouldn’t make it into a big announcement. Just wear it like you would any other swimsuit. If someone asks, a simple, “I find these more comfortable, and I like them,” is all the explanation you need.
At the end of the day, it’s your vacation too. Wear what makes you feel comfortable, enjoy your time with your family, and don’t let fear of “what if” keep you from being yourself.
I agree that “just do it” is probably the better approach.
If it’s any encouragement, it’s what I did around friends and family. Honestly nobody really cared.
If you’re going to do it, just be confident about it. People (especially family) can always tell when you’re not confident. Maybe start with a thong that is more modest (solid black, no enhancement pouches or anything) and see how it goes. You could always opt to bring a few cheeky bikinis, which if you’re used to wearing thongs all the time,which seem like too much fabric and are more comfortable.
Thank you all for the advice, I wish I had your confidence. I know if I don’t wear one in front of my family eventually I know I’ll regret not doing it earlier. As for my options, I only have one swim thong from Awry right now and I’m excited to get a couple different cuts from Oh Lola 4 men. I think I’ll buy a more “modest” thong and hopefully gain the confidence to just go for it then. Also a hard part for me is if my family takes pictures and posts them to social media. I know it’s just swimwear and I shouldn’t worry about what others think, especially online, but it’s just hard not too. I wish I could just skip this first time even though it might be great memories looking back lol.
What I did was start with swim briefs you can find lots of inexpensive ones on Amazon, Temu, or Shein. I wore several different styles and it became a fun game to see what I would show up in. Then someone playfully suggested that they were not much more than a thong. That was the opening I needed to wear one. Now it’s expected that I wear a thong or briefs to parties etc. and everyone likes to see what I wear next. I lean on my wife to choose what to wear so it’s fun for her too. She gets as much attention as I do. Just go with it you will be surprised on how much support you get.
If your sister and girlfriend wear thongs, I would do a test run with them before the family vacation to get yourself and them comfortable.
Then when you’re on vacation with the entire family, repeat.
Just a quick update, I wasn’t on vacation but I did end up wearing a thong to the pool yesterday. Technically, it was an adjustable tanga from modus vivendi (which I love the look of and highly recommend) but you can adjust it into a thong, to which I did. I went around 10-11am or so before the holiday crowds came out. It was my girlfriend and I, both in thongs. Honestly, the whole experience was underwhelming… in a good way. This whole time I had played out scenarios in my head of if people will get offended, comment on the thong or maybe even support of me. In reality, none of that happened. We went to the pool, lounged and tanned some and spoke only a word or two to others. There were maybe 6 adults and no kids at this smaller pool. Maybe they looked, maybe they didn’t, but ultimately nothing happened. I was expecting either this big moment where someone would get all upset and then I could justify my insecurities or I’d feel a huge weight off my shoulders from overcoming fear. The truth is, I didn’t feel either. All that happened was we went to the pool, got some sun and smaller tan lines. My confidence is higher than before but that doesn’t mean I can just wear a thong anytime now. I wish it were that simple lol. I just wanted to share my first experience to help those who are worried about their first time. Just try it once, what’s the worst that will happen? I think the biggest thing for me was: good or bad, self image drowns out a strangers judgement. You’re there to get tan and have a good time, so do that. As long as what you’re doing isn’t illegal and you aren’t calling too much attention to yourself, you’ll survive. I did.
There ya go. Did lightning strike you or anything like that? 
I asked my niece if she was cool wearing a thong to the beach. She said it was cool and had no problem with it. It became normal for her seeing me in a thong.
Ask yourself this, would they want the attention and scrutiny put on themselves by posting pictures of guys in thongs (of you or any other guy)? I doubt that they themselves would want the attention or judgement of their postings.
Glad you got to experience the ‘underwhelming’ nature of first time thonging. We build up this idea in our own minds about what others think only to find out that they don’t really care.
I guess there’s only one way to find out what will happen haha. Now I just have to figure out how to stop this endless cycle of buying thongs. Im not sure how you all deal with this but I have this urge to get every cut and color. Maybe it’s the novelty or the excitement of opening the package but dang some of these aren’t cheap.
I understand your predicament of buying thongs. I have way too many thongs in my collection. Then I will see a new color/cut/pattern and think - that would be nice to have. Some work out to be a great fit. Some do not.
Now that you have taken a dip in the pool without the world falling apart I hope your confidence has increased and your comfort.